Friend rules dating ex
That's safer because you're less likely to get carried away and end up in bed. “Once you've had that first kiss and feel like your relationship could be more than casual, then you need to tell, and certainly if you've already been to bed,” says Los Angeles relationship and dating expert Julie Spira, founder of Prepare for the backlash If telling your friend you're dating her ex was hard, this next part may be harder.
Going slowly also gives you time to exit if it looks like it's not going anywhere.” (And, Quinn notes, if the relationship is a non-starter, you can easily explain away a few coffees and lunches, and no one needs to know a thing about it).'Fess up to your friend fast If you may have something special with Mr. Since there's no universe in which this will be a pleasant, or even easy, conversation to have, keep it short, simple and honest: I don't want to hurt your feelings, but I don't want to hide this from you either. Once everything's out in the open, you've got to sit still with your mouth shut and brace yourself for the emotional backlash.
But when it comes to her ex, silence on matters both sexual and not really is golden.
“Even in the best case scenario where you get your friend's blessing, tread really lightly on how much you share,” advises Paz.
“If you're breaking this taboo, you're going to have to acquiesce to your friend's comfort level to try to salvage your friendship,” says Paz.
and how much she wants to see and hear about you as a couple.“I've had clients who've reconnected with friends, sometimes weeks, sometimes years, after the dust has settled.” But you're going to have to be patient. That's doubly unfair to your friend who's lost both her ex and you.”Don't spread the news on Facebook Naturally, you want to tell everyone your new relationship status, but resist doing it on Facebook, cautions Dobrenski.Assuming you're still Facebook friends with your pal, you should be especially sensitive about posting updates and photos that could potentially hurt her feelings.“She can always say she's busy if she's uncomfortable, but at least you've done the right thing by inviting her,” says Spira.“I see too many women dumping friends for men and then if that relationship ends, they've lost a friend.”Be prepared to lose your friend If you date a friend's ex, be prepared for her to wash her hands of you.
“You're going to feel sad, but you're just going to have to deal with it,” explains Dobrenski.